5 Times Tech has been completely shite

We live in a world of high speed broadband on the go, with devices in our pockets providing more power than computers that put man on the moon. Bearing this in mind, there’s be a fair few times technology has simply been complete shite.

Smart Watch Nonsense

useless apple watchWe’ll be the first to admit to hypocrisy on this one, as we’re Pebble users and Huawei Watch fanboys. Moving that to the side, smart watches are a load of balls. They do little more than tell the time and update you on friends Facebook statuses. What do you get in return? A device you most likely forgot to bring to work because you took it off to charge, just like you have to every single day. What do you pay for this chore? A huge amound of moola, with the entry level Apple Watch costing over 400 bucks!

Google Glasses

useless google glassTechnology sometimes fails at “The America Stage”. That is where tech doesn’t get to the point where the states exports it. Google Glass kind of fits this bill, as it was extremely uncommon to see these devices out and about. We spotted two people at Web Summit last year and from that very moment, we vowed that glasses are one wearable we will not adopt. Man those lads looked so incredibly stupid. That’s all we really have to say about that. Stupid creation, looked stupid and has since gone away.

Handsfree Kits

useless headsetNothing says I’m a really busy and grumpy courier like wearing a bluetooth earpiece while you drive from A to B. Now don’t get us wrong, we’re big believers in the importance of road safety and don’t think you should be using your phone at all while driving. Handsfree kits are a distraction when you drive but they also make you look like the aforementioned angry courier. Then you forget to charge it once, or lose the charger etc and then it’s thrown in the glove box forever. No thanks.

Xbox Kinect

useless kinectComing home and shouting “Xbox On” about three or four times is great craic, but it’s not the most efficient way of powering on the old home entertainment system. You could be alone at home and you’ll still feel a bit of a pillock trying to coax the console into doing what you what by shouting at it. That said, it’ll cool when it does actually work, but you’ll have already wasted at least five times the time taken to do the job with a controller. There are also barely any games that need or use Kinect, although we’ve picked up a few yellow cards for abusing refs in FIFA 16.

Arguably, you could add all things that use voice control. Looking at you Siri.

Electric Cars

Yup, just off Aungier Street was an electric car charging and got themselves clamped.

See also, gas cars. We recently spotted an electric car parked in front of a charge station. That car was clamped. What’s funny about this is.

  1. We saw an electric car
  2. We saw a charge station
  3. The two of these were together being punished

You’re likely to never see the above yourself, as electric cars don’t like leaving Dublin. These elusive beasts feed on extremely rare charge stations only found in the most useless of places. Even upon finding these charge stations, the cars could be then held captive. A horrible life, most would rather stay away from by sticking to the tried and tested. If you hope to see the likes of Tesla on Irish roads becoming more common, we’ll be waiting for quote some time. Don’t forget, most of the electricity comes from fossil fuels…so you know…swings and roundabouts.

And yes, it’s the exact same for gas that was tried out a few years ago by like 12 people. Awful shame.

Update: Tesla and electric cars have since made fairly massive strides in Ireland, so open mouth, inster humble pie. You can read more about it over here.

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Founding Editor of Goosed, Marty is a massive fan of tech making life easier. You'll often find him testing something new, brewing beer or finding some new foodie spots in Dublin, Ireland. - Find me on Threads