Nokia 3310: The Good, The Bad And The Downright Disappointing

As we all know the Nokia 3310 has come back from the grave. Back in the day, we all owned one and we have all been very curious to see the new beast in action. While it won’t be replacing my Samsung S8 anytime soon it’s a fantastically awesome bit of kit to bring in the pocket during festival season.

Basically, our recommendation is simple: buy it for your Nan, your kid or as a spare. Just don’t expect it to become your sole device – it won’t. But at €60 I’ll happily stick it in my pocket for a weekend in a field with a bag of cans with the lads.

True to our word, here’s the good, the bad and the downright disappointing.

The Good

Battery

This is a given, surely? Without the big old touchscreen and all the trimmings that come with modern smartphones, the Nokia 3310 has a battery should last up to a month. On a single charge, to put that into context, that’ll probably 15 to 3fewerss charges per month vs any smartphone on the market.

This is obviously the big selling point for the 3310 and who can blame them. Simple and effective is all they are looking for. As I’ve said this phone has potential to be the festival maker.

No 3G at these events, your busy with your mates have the craic and whatever. The battery will see you through.

The Price

To be fair the Nokia 3310 is fairly cheap vs smartphones. However apart from maybe the Doro range, they are on the expensive side for a brick. Granted they look a damn sight better. So for €60 you can’t really go too far wrong.

Scenario A- Its clearly cheaper to replace than the phone your reading this on… true

Scenario B- Have you seen the Doro range? they are purpose built but they look hell nasty and granified. No way in hell while the 3310 is on the market will my mother be rocking anything other than the retro style icon.

Hard as Nails

Nokia’s have never before needed an OtterBox or any other case. So why start now? With a tough durable body, a plastic covered small display and everything else that comes with an old school Nokia 3310.

old and new nokia 3310 side by side

Basically volley that phone off a wall, bate it with a hurl or throw it at your little sister. The 3310 will be grand.

Kid Friendly

For any parent being able to contact your child is a big deal. As is internet safety and price for fear of loss or damage. It’s kids these things happen. By chance rather than plan the Nokia 3310 proves to be a great shout.

With literally zero internet access, a reasonable price and strong enough that you won’t have to pay to replace a cracked screen. The only thing you might have to fear is Snake, but I’ll get to that later.

Nostalgarama

2017 the year of the reboot, from classic PlayStation games, classic consoles like the SNES Mini and Atari, TV shows and now phones. This year has been great for bringing all the bits of years gone past into the modern era.
When you hold the Nokia 3310 you know you’re handling an icon of the industry. While it may look slightly different, it’s hard to not jump back into a time where monophonic ringtones blared from the back seats of buses up and down the country.
This came around in the days where “shifting young wans” was a thing all young lads tried to do and awkwardly enough. Messing around with the phone reminded me of some of the cringe texts I used to send when trying to lay on the charm. It was awful and that’s all I’m saying.
Before I move on though remember text speak?
Ugh no just no. Cutting out all the vowels to keep the message under 160 characters so you didn’t have to pay for two texts. Actually, a bit like Twitter really! Then Meteor changed that game.
In the name of good fun have a go deciphering this and tell us what movie this came from? Small hint: it came out the same year as the original Nokia 3310:
 “…Fthr 2a mrdrd sn. Hsbnd 2a mrdrd wiv. nd I wl av my vngance
, n dis lif r da nxt.” 

The Bad

Lack of covers

This might sound stupid but the things I don’t like about the Nokia 3310 I really don’t like. Seriously, whats with the complete lack of anything fun. We all had questionable choices of clip on fascias. Some looked class but if you were like me it was something like a football team crest, the word Eminem or something equally as dodge. Yea, I was one of them kids, not a proud fact but a fact none the less. Anyway when the world was covered in 3310’s each and everyone’s phone was totally customized and was apart of who they were.

I’m also just bitter that kids today don’t have the option to make as many bad choices as we did.

Lack of Apps

Stupid? Maybe, but the lack of a low level of internet access I feel hinders the Nokia 3310. Nobody texts anymore and only a chosen few even bother to call. The older generation is not happy to use smartphones because of the sheer volume of data. So hear me out, why can WhatsApp, Email and maybe Facebook not be preloaded apps here?

It would give the 3310 a nice holding ground for those who want to get more tech savvy without having to dive all the way in. It’s not bad we know brick phone and all that I just can’t shake the feeling Nokia have missed a trick here.

The Downright Disappointing

Snake

Bollox! This is not Snake and I am not happy about it. Whoever was in charge of this development should be fired and I want, no, expect heads to roll. First thing’s first. Two button controlling just make things boring. The snake moves in circular patterns and it’s just not right, it’s dull. The one and only thing that made the phone vaguely fun to use has been murdered and I for one am less than happy.

But that’s just me being bitter. All in all the phone is built exactly for purpose. No 3G, no Wi-Fi or any of that other fancy stuff like apps. So the Nokia 3310 ain’t going to change the world but it’s cheap, the battery lasts forever and you won’t have to teach your Nan how to use it.

The Nokia 3310 is available from a couple of places in Ireland like most phone shops and Littlewoods Ireland if you’re looking to get it SIM free. If you’re looking for the best price though, you can also pick it up on Amazon.co.uk and use Parcel Motel to get it delivered to Ireland. These are generally SIM free too.

Written by

Jon
Jon
Junior Editor and host of the Goosed Podcast, Jon is passionate about phones, design and everything tech. Having joined the Goosed.ie team in 2015 he now leads the entire Goosed podcast channel. Ask him about 3D printing or Disney movies. Read more by Jon.

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