Bangu Prison is likely a lonely enough place for the two poor lads who popped over to enjoy a bit of sport for the summer. Pat Hickey and John Delaney would appear to have years of (alleged) debauchery and swindling catching up with them. Fortunately, technology can help even those who are (allegedly) up a certain creek without the O’Donovan brother’s paddles. So assuming Pat and John could get their hands on a smartphone, what are the most helpful apps they should download?
Tripadvisor to review Bangu Prison
First of all, when travelling the world and seeing the sights, Tripadvisor acts as a fantastic guide to ensure you always see the best bits. Right now, Pat and John might be a little limited in what they can review. With that said, we’re interested to see how the two lads rate the standard of food and hairdressing inside Bangu Prison.
Ticketmaster/Vibe could have avoided this mess
We do feel for the lads. Simply trying to sell off a few tickets they had acquired. Little did they know tech could have helped. Ticketmaster has been providing a fast and convenient way of buying tickets for years. Perhaps even more fitting is Voom Finalist Vibe.
Startup Vibe is a new platform allowing people to sell tickets to each other at face-value. Ironically, we previously covered this app during Ireland’s Euro 2016 campaign as the touts were out in force. If only Pat and John knew such avenues were open to them.
Duolingo to brush on up their Portuguese
Sharing a prison cell with Felipe who doesn’t speak a word of English is rough. The lads could be in for quite a lonely time. Duolingo is a fantastic resource for anyone to brush up on their language skills, or learn from scratch. If Pat and John get their hands on a smartphone, this should be the first app they download. The cúpla focail as Portuguese could be a life saver for the two lads as they try to continue their life of schmoozing in Bangu Prison.
Snapchat for disposable pictures
For any of these apps to benefit Pat and John, the pair will first have to get their hands on a new smartphone. The reason being Brazilian police have confiscated their own phones. Police interest in phones means they are looking for texts and photos. Now, the last thing the two lads want the police to find is them rolling around a Rio bed covered in Olympic Tickets. Snapchat provides just the perfect app for the job, with self-destructing photos.
Snapchat also has the added benefit of being able to return the locks of hair Pat has reportedly lost on entrance to Bangu Prison. Daily Snapchat filter updates with different hairstyles and generally humorous augmented reality scenarios will surely keep spirits high.
RTÉ Player to keep up with current affairs
There is a fair chance that Bangu Prison officials aren’t keeping the lads up to date with progress in their cases. Pat also had the bad luck of being nabbed before the Olympic games ended. A great way for the lads to pass the time is RTÉ Player and keeping up with the latest news in their cases. It’ll also give them a great avenue to watch the final few days of Olympic events they missed. It’s not like they won’t have the time.
Twitter purely for Paddy Barnes
It’s debatable as to whether or not this is a good idea. Believe it or not, the two lads have had a nation’s anger directed towards them for their ticket touting shenanigans. Not least of whom is boxing light flyweight and social media heavyweight, Paddy Barnes. Paddy was quick out of the blocks as he heard about Pat’s capture. Not one to miss an opportunity is our Paddy.
@olympiccouncil can I have Pats 1st class ticket home?
— Paddy Barnes (@paddyb_ireland) August 18, 2016
True crime has become a hot topic lately, with the likes of “Making a Murderer” capturing the world’s attention. In the fallout of the series, one of the main protagonists might even get out early. There are plenty of other shows to keep Pat and John busy once they finish the true crime stuff too. Let’s not forget Netflix boasts “Orange is the New Black”.
Pat Hickey and John Delaney can probably expect an extended stay in Bangu Prison. While they might be there for a long time, it doesn’t have to be a bad time. Thankfully, technology should help time fly past for them.